Kids just don’t understand

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Kids blog

In 1986, The Fresh Prince (Will Smith) and DJ Jazzy Jeff released the song Parents Just Don’t Understand.

We loved it. We sang the lyrics. And now we are making our own song.

If you have an inquisitive, determined, motivated and down-right stubborn 7-year-old (or any age for that matter) you now want to sing a new song titled Kids just don’t understand.

I have come up with a few points that I find my daughter doesn’t understand. And if she does, then she is intentionally trying to drive me insane so she can put me in a padded-room and collect my social security checks.

  1. The concept of time – Why is it that when you are ready to go it takes you five minutes to get dressed and get to the door? When I say we have to be somewhere by a certain time you move as slow as molasses and can’t find shoes that match.

  2. Saturday mornings are made for sleeping in – It is amazing how all week the kids don’t want to get out of bed but when Saturday morning comes they are up and ready for breakfast at 6 a.m.

  3. Grandma and Grandad won’t always be around – Watch what you do and say, you still have to come home with me according to social services. They can’t always save you.

  4. The level of hunger changes depending on what is put in front of you – Just a few minutes ago you were sooooo hungry. But you don’t want to eat your broccoli.

  5. To piggy back on number 4 – You can’t not eat your food and still be hungry for dessert. It doesn’t work that way.

  6. Money – It is amazing how kids want you to buy everything but don’t want to spend their money

  7. Boyfriends/Girlfriends – If you are under 18, you don’t have any. They are called classmates.

  8. Extracurricular activities/sports – If I have to pay for it you can not quit until you have been at it for six weeks, minimum.

  9. Cleaning – If you live, eat, sleep and receive mail at the same address as myself, you have to clean the house too.

  10. Car- If you ride in/drive my car, don’t put gas in or maintain the vehicle, your are already designated to clean said vehicle.

  11. Clothing – Let’s face it. The trends and clothes that kids want can be expensive. With that being said you are not allowed to cut, tear, paint, write on, burn, stretch or alter any piece of clothing that is bought. Unless you have become a tailor overnight.

  12. Language – Kids, if you wouldn’t say it in front of your parents, don’t say it in front of me.

  13. Social Media – Believe it or not this is a big deal in my household. My 7-year-old believes that she should have a Facebook and Twitter account (a testament to our society). My answer: I don’t care which social media you prefer until your 17 it will be snail mail.

  14. TV – It doesn’t matter if it comes on ABC Family or Cartoon Network. It also doesn’t matter if I haven’t seen it before. YOU still can’t watch it.

  15. The word NO – No is not short for negotiation. While I appreciate your attempt and may be saving to send you to law school, you pleading your case does not change my answer.

I get by with a glass of wine and the repeated mantra “I am the adult.” I know that some of these points may just get worse over time but I am hoping that if we get an understanding now, it won’t be so problematic.

If only kids could understand the parents point of view.

I’m just saying.

P.S. Somewhere my mother is having a strange feeling of triumph and she doesn’t know where it comes from. 😉

 

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