Chronicles of a Single Mom: Post #5

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I don’t know when it happened but I think Johnnie Cochran moved into my house.
Maybe it’s Gloria Allred.
Possibly Loretta Lynch.
Either way, there’s a lawyer that has taken over my 8-year-old’s body and baits me into opening and closing arguments while asking my mother to be the judge and jury.
It happened all of a sudden. I didn’t even realize that I was doing it until she suggested that we put “the contract on paper.”
Every single thing we do seems to be a negotiation. It’s like she’s a walking contract lawyer that says yes to whatever you ask of her but she hurriedly rushes out the terms and conditions so fast that you find yourself agreeing before you even know it.
Then there’s the other extreme.
She has to plead her case. It’s usually not one of those “just because I want it” things either.
Sister girl has come prepared with several points as to why she should have/get something along with examples that are close or similar to our family dynamics. She then proceeds to point out the pros and the cons of having said object/opportunity and how it can impact her daily life, school or the family as a whole.
So after listening to her arguments, I find myself frustrated that she knows so much and is making valid points or upset that we are continuing to have the conversation after I’ve clearly said no. Most of the time I’m confused that I’m actually impressed.
Our latest “trial” is why she should get a phone. I haven’t fully engaged in this trial. Unfortunately, I’m afraid that this will just segway into future arguments (conversations) about curfew, boys and dating, driving and school performances instead of us arguing about why she should eat her peas, pick her clothes up off the bathroom floor and why tapping on the kitchen floor isn’t the best idea while living in an apartment.
I’m sure I can just say “because I said so” and let that ruling stand but I’m a bit proud that she has the dedication to research the facts before presenting her case. That in turn scares the hell out of me, because she’s quite good at it too.
I figure if I just reinforce that this household is not a democracy, she’s bound to apply the need to present an extensive argument towards school work, the debate club and eventually law school right? I do hope that’s true.
I do know one thing for sure.
I feel bad for that future judge.
I’m just saying.

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