The Do’s and Don’t of a Church Kid

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I know it may be hard to believe but I spent a lot of my childhood in church.
A lot.
In talking with another preacher’s kid, we were reflecting on how some of the things that kids do today would’ve gotten us in serious trouble. From that conversation the following list was birthed.
20 Lessons and Tips from a Church Kid to Another
1) Trying to explain to your friends why you couldn’t take part in anything they had on a Wednesday night.
2) Pretending to know the lyrics to the songs your friends were talking about but your mama didn’t let you listen to secular music
3) Not being able to sit on the last pew with the cool kids. You wanted to know what they were doing so bad but dared not turn all the way around during service.
4) Don’t think you’re going to walk around during the prayer or benediction. You better wait until they finish.
5) Anyone could get you if you were caught doing wrong. Then you would get it again when they told your parents.
6) Begging to go sit with someone else before the sermon start because their Mom would let ya’ll write notes and play.
7) Be prepared to wait 20 to 30 minutes after service because your Mom need to talk to Sister-So-and-So about something. And you better not interrupt.
8) On nights when your parents have meetings, pack your homework, a snack, a book and a blanket because you better not disturb this meeting.
9) Know that Sundays’ are a long day. You will stay for 8 a.m., 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. service.
10) There’s no point in lying. The spirit of discernment is just going to tell on you anyway.
11) To follow number 10, don’t go anywhere you’re not supposed to go. You may end up bringing something back with you (in the spirit realm). So again, the spirit is just going to tell on you anyway.
12) Being afraid to invite your friend to church because you don’t know how they’ll handle the praise breaks.
13) Don’t talk while the preacher is preaching.
14) Don’t run in the church, cut up in children’s church, play in the bathrooms, etc. Basically, don’t embarrass them or they’ll embarrass you.
15) Don’t eat in the sanctuary. You could be feeling like you about to pass out, don’t know if it’s the Holy Ghost or the Hunger Ghost, but you better not eat any food in those pews.
16) Church clothes come off as soon as you get in the house.
17) Don’t get caught calling someone or texting in church when you supposed to be in service unless it’s Jesus.
18) Don’t fake sick to get out of going to church. You still have to go so Pastor can pray for a healing.
19) Never play in the alter or pulpit unless you want to wake up laid out on said alter with people praying you back.
20) ABOVE ALL- Don’t ever make your parents come out the choir stand, pulpit, off the door, etc. There will be HELL to pay!

I’m just saying.

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