Chronicles of a Single Mom #11 – The EOG Jitters

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We’ve hit another milestone on this journey called Parenthood.
As a third grader, my daughter took her first End of Grade test this month.
Let me tell you… I wasn’t ready.
I couldn’t handle it.
Yeah I know I didn’t actually take the test but with all the anxiety I felt about her taking it I may as well have been in the seat beside her.
As a parent you wonder if you’ve done everything you could to help your child succeed.
I was that parent attending the Saturday morning information sessions so I could use the resources given to make sure my kid was ready.
I made it my duty to make sure I picked her up early enough for her to have plenty of time to relax when she got home. I cooked dinner in advance so she didn’t have to worry about waiting to eat. She even went to bed an hour earlier, even though she didn’t have to go to sleep.
There were motivational talks, encouraging words, a poster of support, and a homemade breakfast each morning.
She wore comfortable clothing and packed a hoodie in the event she got cold while sitting still for 180 minutes.
Any and everything to make my little scholar confidant and comfortable so she can do her best.
What I forgot to do was take something myself.
I was a ball of nerves the entire time. Before she could close the car door after picking her up, I would ask how the test went. How did she feel about it? Was it hard? What did she think? Trying to get a feel for how she did without adding any pressure.
Yeah I know that the state’s standardized tests don’t define her as a student but of course I’d want her to do her best, whether it’s testing to pass her current grade or coloring in the lines for a prize.
Which is why I lost sleep and drove myself insane worrying about how she’d do on the test.
The great thing about the entire ordeal is that I’ve learned she actually listens to what I say (for now).
While I was in need of a Xanax, she had already made up her mind that she’d do her very best. She was cool, calm and collected. Facing a challenge head on and loving it.
Which is why she will continue to excel when she heads to fourth grade in the fall.
Not me though.
I’m making a bee line to something that will help take the edge off while I remind myself that I’ve already earned my diploma and they can’t take it back.
I’m Just Saying.

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