Chronicles of a Single Mom #14: Shhh! She’ll hear us eating!

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I CAN’T EAT!!
Seriously.
I’m sure that I can afford to miss a meal or two but first I have to actually have access to said meals. In order for that to happen my 9-year-old has to stop eating up all of the food.
She has become the human Hoover when it comes to my kitchen. I can go looking for something and it’s already gone.
The other day she ate two plates of breakfast. I mean toast, bacon, and grits. (She’s allergic to eggs.)
Count them. Two.
Did I mention that she doesn’t even weigh 60 pounds? Not at all.
However, she eats like she’s twice that size and it goes nowhere.
Truth moment: I would be jealous but the strain it’s putting on my purse is ridiculous.
She’s so bad that the sound and smell of food being cooked brings her into the kitchen to investigate. I don’t care if she’s sleep, playing with her dolls or watching television.
I literally poured myself a bowl of cereal in the laundry room the other morning in an attempt for her not to hear me.
Only to open the door and find her standing in the kitchen, in her pajamas, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
Yep.
It’s that serious.
So I’ve calculated that in 18 days she will be back at school where she can eat breakfast and lunch there. Which gives my purse and my stove a break from overuse.
If not, she’ll be looking for job applications to feed her growing appetite. Or she’ll be eating me out of house and home. I’m hoping it doesn’t come to the latter.
I’m Just Saying.